Not That Social
29 January 2015
Eldwick, Bingley, Bingley, West Yorkshire BD16, UK
I have always been surrounded by social butterflies.When living in a large family, attending a large school and working in an enormous city, it's very season to sink or slip into the back of the crowd without anyone noticing. During secondary school, it was difficult to be shy due to the constant association with friends which did wonders for my confidence. On the other hand, in my mind I have always been the quiet one, despite what others may have gathered. Socialising and meeting new people is fun and a vital experience in life but I have come to terms with the fact that I'm just not that social. Saturday night house parties are great, I enjoy all the fraternising that goes with it. But sometimes I would rather enjoy my own company and spend a few hours reading or on Tumblr/Pinterest.
The comfort with being alone comes from being so very shy. When I was a lot younger, I used to feel to nervous and uncomfortable to say hello to my own extended family members, it was just too daunting. Answering up in class and evening speaking up in general was always a challenge unless I felt like I was surrounded by close friends. Then social media came alone, which I have a love-hate relationship with. It all began with Bebo, choosing from thousands of skins and sending hearts to best friends. Not being included in a best friend's description box was devastating. Then Facebook came along, a website I haven't really used since 2010. This is probably down to the realisation that half of the 1,000 plus friends I had on there probably can't even pronounce my name.
As I have grown up, I occasionally revert back to my timid shell, but I actually like it. Every person has one comfort food, object or place. After visiting the library in the city centre almost every lunch break, I have realised that I feel at ease and most comfortable when surrounded by book, it gives my mind something to do. I can spend hours in Waterstones just reading blurbs and searching for my next read. I'm not forced into a social situation and conversations that do establish are natural and enjoyable. Maybe the social butterfly stage is yet to come.
Whatever Size Will Do
28 January 2015
Eldwick, Bingley, Bingley, West Yorkshire BD16, UK
Learning to shop my size used to be incredibly difficult. It doesn't really matter what size you are, some people just aren't comfortable with a busy store and people looking over your shoulder. I have always been too tall for my age, which meant I had to buy clothes that were bigger for length, but I was never the slim type either. Confidence plays a huge factor in being able to choose up your own clothes size, and it comes down to simply not caring about the opinion of others, because they're probably not even looking.
In my mind, whenever I was shopping, I used to almost feel ashamed to pick up my size and was convinced other people were watching or judging me. But after a long period of reading "clothes numbers don't define us" posts and continually doing everything in my power to boost my confidence, I started to embrace my shape and actually open my eyes to realise the world doesn't revolve around me. People tend to mind their own business and it's down to you to realise not many people care whether you're picking up a size 6 or a size 16.
My style has evolved a lot from being younger. I no longer shop at Jane Norman just for the snazzy carrier bags and I have no issue looking around F&F at Tesco for the occasional staple piece. When it comes down to how I like clothes to fit, I like a really loose fit and comfortable fabrics. I know textiles well, so I have learnt what fabrics will change or alter when washed or expand after use. Today, I have absolutely no problem picking up a size 18 in Topshop despite that being bigger than my real dress size.
I tend to ignore the numbers on hangers and shop for the fit rather than the size; which is exactly why TK Maxx is one of my favourite stores. In-store shopping can be a challenge and takes real determination to dig through the hundred of clothing rails, but two jumpers could be marked medium and yet completely different sizes. Primark is my go-to store for affordable casual t-shirts. Although the quality isn't always phenomenal, there are plenty of different styles to go with. Shopping nowadays is plenty of fun rather than an anxiety-filled nightmare. Realising there are many more people sat in this boat makes every trip a lot more enjoyable.
5 Things That Make Me Smile
26 January 2015
Eldwick, Bingley, Bingley, West Yorkshire BD16, UK
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Being an adult is still pretty rough. After my first week of work, and finally getting round to Monday again, I feel like it's time for a pick-me-up; and it's only the first day of the week. Not only do I finally understand why people always complain about working, but I have discovered every fault in public transport and it's not as glorious as I imagined. Optimism needs to stay on top, so I thought I would remind myself of a few things that usually cheer me up when I'm just 'meh'.
1. Snow. And sometimes even rain. Although I prefer them when I'm inside, watching snow fall is almost therapeutic and the sound of rain is relaxing to fall asleep to. The snow clouds have been a little shy in January despite a few sleet spells, and a little sprinkle of snow is enough to make me smile. The greatest thing about living away from the city centre is being able to watch the snow fall as well as watch it settle.
2. Fried food. Anything I know isn't good for me is usually something I'm going to like. A Sunday fry-up sounds like the perfect thing on an early morning and the smell alone will make me smile. Despite my attempts to avoid fried or junk food, a few fries are a great way to feel a little warmer.
3. Movie nights. Paying almost £7 a month isn't the best thing to dwell on, but being able to watch some of my favourite films and television shows on repeat is the easiest way for me to feel better. As a self-professed couch potato, one of my best talents is being able to watch three seasons of a tv show in two days.
4. Winter sun. Waking up on a chilly morning is incredibly difficult, but with the slight shimmer of sun, it's that little bit easier. The natural light is almost like motivation for me to actually wake up, otherwise it's not really happening. Similarly, sitting indoors all day at a desk isn't as productive as one would imagine. Seeing the sun shine through the windows keeps me wide awake and feeling content.
5. Window shopping. Most people would say this makes them miserable, but I actually really enjoy browsing shops. Window shopping is a lot easier with an empty bank account, but trying on clothes and going to the sale rack is a great way to inspire your personal style and experiment with what's out on the high street.
Working Girl: Day One
19 January 2015
Eldwick, Bingley, Bingley, West Yorkshire BD16, UK
The morning started out pretty smoothly, I managed to get a seat on the train despite having to endure an entire 20 minutes of a couple physically expressing their affection towards one another right in front of me. That would be the only downside to not getting a window seat; despite this, I still have headphones which instantly make any journey nauseating. After going through a tour of the building and getting to know a few team members, lunch approached quickly.
For some reason, my brain went into instant panic mode and I found myself already in tears as I exited the elevator. My first instinct is to ring my mum, a bitter-sweet option as it's the easiest way to feel less overwhelmed but also the easiest way to begin crying hysterically - luckily I didn't reach that point. The reason behind my lunchtime tears is still unknown, the work isn't too difficult and my colleagues are very nice.
By the end of the day, I was just excited to be on a train home; little did I know the day was about to get way worse. As I reached the train station, into my (brand new) Ivanka Trump tote to grab my (brand new) Karl Lagerfeld purse, I realised it was missing. Panic is an understatement. My immediate thought was Starbucks, where I went for lunch so I ran back as quick as one can in a pencil dress. Fortunately, my pink purse had been picked up by the waitress who served me and they happily handed it to me. Holding back tears was a struggle, words would barely form as I tried to thank the Starbucks staff.
Tomorrow is a new try and I'm going to try to put this below freezing, emotional rollercoaster day behind me. I imagined a full-time working life to be rewarding, but the day ends with me wrapped in fur blankets and Netflix till I drift off.
Blissful Beauty Sleep
14 January 2015
Eldwick, Bingley, Bingley, West Yorkshire BD16, UK
A particular talent of mine is being able to sleep for extremely long periods of time. After a year of part-time jobs and work experience, there is nothing I'm going to miss more that sleeping till 1pm. As I enter full time work, that means less lazy mornings and twice as many train journeys and coffee runs. As much as I like being awake early, I don't like waking up early - it makes sense in my head. But being a real working girl is helping me to realise the real benefits of a good night's rest. During school, I could get away with lack of sleep because I barely paid attention, but now, I realise my concentration levels slowly decreasing the less sleep I get.
Last year, I could fall asleep anywhere, at any time and in any position, but this month just seems to be against the odd nap. There are plenty of tips online for the best ways to fall asleep but non of them really seem to be working. However, I did find one method that working like a charm - being productive. Getting moments of motivation in the late hours is not unusual for me so when I decided to write a short story, draw something or read a very slow-paced book before bed, it became difficult to keep my eyes open. Sitting in front a bright screen never helped, but being bundled up in blankets with a warm drink and a pen and pad sends me to sleep before I can realise it.
Now that I have learnt and experience the benefits of the extra hour or so in bed, I'm no longer falling asleep on my way to work!
Sleeping Masks // notonthehighstreet,com
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